Hindsight

I have thought a lot about what I would have liked to know before embarking on my fertility journey.

One thing I wish I had done was really listened. At my first meeting at the fertility clinic my doctor told me all the statistics but I just didn’t listen.

I didn’t think they mattered to me. I was 30, a healthy BMI and my periods came like clockwork. All my tests came back showing no issues. My tubes were clear, eggs reserves were good and tests showed I was ovulating. I therefore just didn’t listen.

Here I am five years on with no baby.

However unrealistic I was then, and I have to admit I was also unrealistic when it came to ivf, I have no regrets.

I also wish I’d known how devastating and exhausting infertility could be. I also wish I’d known I could get through it. My journey has shown me how strong I can be and how strong my relationship can be.

I’ve stopped planning my life around the fact next year I could have a baby. In the beginning I was frightened to book a holiday or apply for a job in case my treatment was successful and I got pregnant. Now I go for opportunities as they come. If I have a baby that’s great but I can’t stop living just in case. 

My journey has been hard work and I know there is more work to come. Now I know I can survive whatever else is thrown at me.

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