Live and learn

I expected to have time off on holiday and be transformed into a relaxed easy going woman. 

Instead I found myself spending the first two days feeling jealous. I sat watching all the families on the beach making sandcastles, catching crabs and playing football and felt so so jealous. It has been almost five years since I had my first donor insemination and I thought we’d have two children by now. I thought we’d be building sandcastles and playing in the sand with our family. 

Thankfully I started to relax and enjoy myself. The weather in Cornwall has been amazing. I’ve swam in the cold sea and walked for miles. Each day I have felt myself let go a little. However I have had to except this will take time. There are no shortcuts with this. 

I have pushed all my feelings down so many times but this time they are refusing to be pushed and I’m having to deal with it. I wish I’d dealt with things before but you live and learn. 

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