Live and learn 

I expected to have time off on holiday and be transformed into a relaxed easy going woman. 

Instead I found myself spending the first two days feeling jealous. I sat watching all the families on the beach making sandcastles, catching crabs and playing football and felt so so jealous. It has been almost five years since I had my first donor insemination and I thought we’d have two children by now. I thought we’d be building sandcastles and playing in the sand with our family. 

Thankfully I started to relax and enjoy myself. The weather in Cornwall has been amazing. I’ve swam in the cold sea and walked for miles. Each day I have felt myself let go a little. However I have had to except this will take time. There are no shortcuts with this. 

I have pushed all my feelings down so many times but this time they are refusing to be pushed and I’m having to deal with it. I wish I’d dealt with things before but you live and learn. 

2 thoughts on “Live and learn 

  1. So much love to you. It is so hard when you have all these plans and expectations for FUN and infertility sneaks its ugly head right on in. I’m glad your dealing with it and giving yourself space.

    Liked by 1 person

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