So it’s been a week since transfer. I started off relatively relaxed and normal but as the days go on the more emotional I have become. 

I’ve gone from happy and feeling positive to a angry crying mess. I always tell myself I won’t Google things but every time I do. This is ivf number five and every time I’ve had different symptoms. I’ve been convinced I’ve been pregnant but I haven’t been. It’s always been the progesterone playing tricks on me. Bizarrely last time I had the least symptoms of all yet that cycle resulted in a chemical pregnancy. 

This time things are pretty standard. I’m hot then cold, my boobs hurt and I feel sick now and again. The only difference was a ticking feeling after transfer which I hoped might be implantation but I’ve felt nothing since. 

My dreams are always vivid on progesterone. I had one where I was pushing twins in a pram. Each was wrapped in a white blanket and had little white hats. I woke up feeling so happy. Then the next night I dreamt I was covered in blood. I woke up convinced my period was here. Thankfully it wasn’t but on three ivf cycles my period came before test day so I’m starting to worry every time I go to the toilet. 

I’ve still got to make it to Tuesday. It seems such a long way away. 

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