The worst news

So a week ago last Tuesday was the happiest day of my life and yesterday was one of the worst. 

Everything seemed to be going well. I’ve felt so happy since finding out I was pregnant. I’ve felt good, a little tired and my boobs have been sore. I had no morning sickness but I read most people don’t until around 6 weeks so I wasn’t alarmed. I went for my blood test yesterday and expected everything to be fine. 

When the clinic rang the nurse asked if anyone was with me so I knew straight away something was wrong. Luckily I was working from home but I was all alone when they told me. My hcg levels are only 48 and that’s it, all over. I need to stop my meds straight away apart from the steroids which I have to come over gradually. I’ve had no signs of miscarriage. No bleeding and no pain. 

I called my wife in a mess and she came straight home. We’d told a few close family members and telling them it’s all over was hard after everyone being so happy last week. 

I’ve not stopped crying and I’ve not been able to sleep. I’ve been over everything in my head trying to figure out why. Trying to figure out if I did something wrong. 

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7 thoughts on “The worst news

  1. I’m so sorry. Try not to blame yourself. When we lost our baby at 10 weeks the dr was very swift to point out that it is not your fault. Which obviously didn’t help much, but my grief therapist was quick to say the same thing. Try not to blame yourself. Loads of hugs. 💜💜
    Again, I’m so very sorry.

    Liked by 1 person

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