19 weeks tomorrow

I’ve not written for a while. A part of myself is annoyed that I’m not writing things down. I’m sure there will come a time when I look back and wish I’d written down my thoughts and feelings.

So far I’ve been very well. I’ve not been sick and the nausea went at just passed 10 weeks. I feel healthy and well. I’ve been tired and I have a dry red patch of skin on my face that won’t go away but I feel pretty lucky so far.

As it’s twins I’m being checked every four weeks. Both twins are doing well and are growing and developing. I’ve seen my consultant twice and he seems nice. Unfortunately the clinics are always over booked and the waiting time for the appointments is around an hour and a half. I wish they’d just stagger the appointments better as waiting for hours isn’t ideal. The consultant has warned me that giving birth to twins involves a lot of people in the room. The image of giving birth just me and a midwife is not the reality for me but after all the poking and prodding I’ve had down there in the last six years I’m used to everyone looking at my bits.

The whole giving birth bit doesn’t seem to be bothering me yet. I worry about going into labour early or something being wrong but the actual birth I feel OK about. Hopefully it will stay that way.

I’m more obviously pregnant now as well. This has meant more people asking questions about what I’m having, are twins in the family etc. People have also started patting my stomach. So far I do not mind this and I’m honest about the whole ivf thing. A lot of people have told me their own ivf stories.

I’m also finding I’m enjoying the change in my body. I feel happy when I look in the mirror and see my body. My body doesn’t look like my body anymore but I like the way it looks and feels. I actually feel pregnant now. I think I finally feel that this is really happening after all this time.

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