It was a year ago today that I was called by my ivf clinic to say my hgc levels had fallen and I would start miscarrying the pregnancy I had so longed for.
It had taken two fresh ivf cycles and four frozen transfers to finally get that positive pregnancy test. I went from the happiest I’d ever been to the saddest. It was devastating and I never thought I’d recover. People told me I should be grateful it was early (6 weeks), but I already saw my pregnancy as a baby. I already felt a bond and completely fell in love with my baby from the moment I knew it was there.
We laid flowers at the reservoir near our house, as we’d walked there the day before I found out I was pregnant. It seemed like the right place and we needed somewhere to go and remember. We still go there and take flowers and spend time just thinking of the baby.
A year on I am sat here with two wiggly babies growing in my belly. Our last two frozen embryos are now growing nicely in my tummy and I’ve made it to 32 weeks. It’s hard to believe I’m here and this is real. I never thought I’d get here and I’d pretty much given up hope.
I will always remember my first pregnancy. It will always be my baby and have a special place in my heart. I’ll make sure I tell our children about their brother or sister who never got to be with us.